I became celibate because I don’t appreciate sex outside of a committed monogamous relationship. I remember thinking I’m just going to give up sex because no one deserves me. No one is worthy of my intimacy, I had been hurt and it was of my own design that I’d gotten to this point—I trusted him, I trusted him. After all I thought he was in love with me, I mean—I was in love with him...but deceit was at the center of our “relationship”. Come to think of it, our “relationship” had no actual foundation I had fooled myself to believe it was real. His lies had to taste real good rolling off those lips. I remember feeling so hurt and so naive when it ended.
WTF, how did I get here? I convinced myself that the only way for me to feel better was to stop interacting with men all together. I told God I wasn’t going to do this again, I wasn’t in a vulnerable place I was in a place where I didn’t trust men anymore. After this relationship had scarred me I decided that I should just be celibate because there’s enough women to go around out here for these men to survive without me in the mix. I’ll just concentrate on God and do some self work and all will be fine.
